The gods want what they want. Lately, these words have been coming to me over and over again like a refrain.
The gods want what they want, which is to say, (and sorry to the new agers for saying it): We don’t have as much almighty influence over things as we might like to imagine. Endless limitless manifestation, perpetual abundance, perfect relationships, and unending happiness–with no devastating or difficult interruptions... maybe, or maybe not!
The more I experience, the more I am humbled by my experiences. Yes, we are incredibly powerful beings and hold within us the profoundly creative energy of God. Yes, we may pray, and as I like to point out, we are, in fact, *always* praying, always manifesting. But perhaps it is best we don't confuse our participation in the whole thing as our control over the whole thing.
Devastation invariably comes, and not because we have done anything wrong. Not because we needed to learn some big lesson that, if only we had learned earlier, we could have avoided the whole mess; we could have avoided all the pain. No—it's not like that at all.
Devastation, struggle, and discomfort come for the single reason that we are human, and we are humans through whom myths are being born. We are humans through whom stories are being told. We are humans who can break open in ways unimaginable when our lives shatter or strain in some way. Yes, we can collaborate with Spirit in shifting our consciousness, our beliefs and so on so that perhaps we will mainly, mostly, (completely, dear god!) learn through loving and gentle ways. But maybe not.
The gods want what they want. The myths of our lives remain a mystery to us as we live them. We will learn what we will learn, however we will learn it. Somehow, mysteriously, the difficulties we face, the devastations we go through–they are just the School we're in.
Indeed: When it’s excruciating, when we are wrecked by life, it’s not because we did something wrong, or because we are somehow not good enough, not awake enough, not empowered enough. No one is above the mythic, mysterious experience of life. Please toss away that notion once and for all, and take your place in the human family.
That devastation and great disappointment come on their own has been the greatest learning of my life, and I am eager to share it with you. I used to look in every crack, in every corner to discover how I created each challenging thing I experienced in my life. Great understanding and growth came from this, but not always. Sometimes, that practice veers on spiritual masochism and does not reveal the truth or growth we are hoping to discover. Sometimes, it is little more than a dead-end of misunderstanding about our powers and life. Sometimes, the truth is simply that we'll just never know why certain things happen the way they happen, and that they certainly didn't happen that way because of any lack or shortcoming on our part.
Sometimes, it just has absolutely nothing to do with anything we could have ever affected or changed. We are human beings, after all, learning how to rest and writhe in the fire (and the beauty!) of this life.
And so it is. Now I put this out in the spirit of mercy: Please, please stop believing in some future version of yourself that you’re becoming that doesn’t go through the shit. That belief in and of itself is the shit, the oppression. Instead, try this: Forgive yourself. Forgive what must be forgiven. And then look around, and take your place in the family of things.
We are all—every last one of us—in this together. And thank god for that.